Spring fever

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Spring fever

Post by sharpshooter1 » Sat Jun 18, 2011 2:11 pm

Spring Fever

Not mine they belong to the divine Mr B Cornwell. No coins exchanged hands just taking the boys out for some fun. [Previously posted on ‘Sharpe Thinking.’]
Warning – Spring fun and frolics ~ nothing to offend a maiden aunt :shock: [I hope. ]


The Duke was in full flow, his officers shuffled, looked down at dusty floor and sideways at each other. Major Hogan tuned out the stream of complaints and harsh words promising himself a large brandy and a good hefty pinch of snuff as soon as he could escape. He raised his eyebrows and glanced at Colonel Lawford who winked back.

The Duke was out of sorts because spring had arrived and here they were stuck on the plains miles from the nearest town waiting for their scouts to return so they could plan their next move. The Duke was apt to get a little fractious when there were no elegant, refined ‘ladies’ available to entertain him and take him in hand as it were.
‘And another thing where is Major Sharpe? Still lollygagging about in his tent with his war wound?’ the Duke thundered sarcastically.
‘Well, it was badly infected and it was his trigger finger. I believe he has a poultice on it, to draw out the poison’
‘Thank you for that description Hogan, most enlightening I’m sure. Please inform Major Sharpe that I wish to see him this afternoon at three o’clock; his finger permitting of course. You too Lawford.’
Colonel Lawford tried to stifle his laugh by sneezing, the Duke frowned then barked.

‘Dismiss. I do not wish to be disturbed. I will take some rest now for I have a bad headache. Guard find Ensign Mortimer to come and arrange my daybed and give me a massage for my headache.’

‘Arrange his daybed, massage his headache better my arse, well at least if he gets some relief he might be in a better mood. By the way, where is Sharpe, I haven’t seen him since yesterday?’ Lawford asked Hogan.
‘I am off to sort Harper and him out, trouble in paradise I fear.’ Hogan replied stomping off. ‘What is it about spring? The whole army is a writhing mess of over sexed men ‘pretend’ fighting, wrestling and humping other each other into the ground in desperation.’ Shaking his grey locks Hogan went to the mess tent for a large brandy and long snort of snuff.

Sighing, he then set off towards the Chosen Men’s enclave and Sharpe’s tent. No sign of Sharpe so he went in search of Harper by following the sound of Ramona’s shouting.
‘What I tell you, leave him alone, is sleeping. He is baby, he should sleep. All you do pick him up and make him over excited and then he no sleep. Go find Major Sharpe, go play with him and get him over excited. You men, I tired, go and amuse yourself. Vamos.’
A red faced Harper turned round to see Major Hogan standing behind him. He also noticed Hagman, Harris, Cooper and Perkins had crept closer, he frowned and tried to salute Hogan and shoo them away at the same time.
‘Patrick, do you know where your Major is? The Duke needs to see him this afternoon.’
‘Down by the river, I think, Sir’
‘You think? You two are usually - shall we say inseparable? Hogan smiled and waited for Harper to respond.
‘Well, I have to help Ramona with the little one now, with Patrick; I can’t spend all my free time with Major Sharpe anymore. It wouldn’t be fair on Ramona.’ Harper mumbled. Hogan looked across at Ramona; seeing she had settled the baby back to sleep he beckoned her.
‘Ramona, Patrick is worried that you might be cross with him if he still spends time practising shooting and sword fighting with Major Sharpe. He thinks you would prefer him to stay close to you and ...’
‘Major Hogan, he drive me mad, I know about their ‘sword’ practice - Ha! Men, the Major he is sulking and my husband he keeps waking the baby and making the googly eyes at me. One baby enough for now, let him go and make the googly eyes at Major Sharpe. With my blessing.’ And she flounced back to the tent and her son.

A shout of laughter and then the chosen men ran back to their tents holding each other up, hiccups of laughter and the words ‘googly eyes’ could be heard from quite a distance.
‘Patrick, do your duty as King George commands. Go down to the river and do whatever it is you do to keep your major happy and fighting fit. Jump to it man’

Sharpe was sat on the river bank, in his left hand he held a small spring flower which he sadly turned round and round and occasionally lifted to smell. His trigger finger still throbbed, he felt alone and wretched. He tried to comfort himself with thoughts of battles past and battles to come. But nothing could replace the thought of Harper and the thought of not even being able to use his right hand to relieve the mounting pressure in his groin. He accepted Ramona and the baby must come first but nothing for two whole weeks? He groaned and lowered his head in despair.
‘Sir, pssst Richard are you all right?’ Harper slid down the bank and sat next to Sharpe.
‘Yes, yes don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine’ A martyred Sharpe wearily replied.
‘The wee one is doing well now and Ramona doesn’t need me to help her so much. I’ve missed our ‘practice sessions’ He nuzzled and kissed Sharpe’s neck.
‘I’ve still got a sore finger’ Sharpe moaned leaning back against Harper.
Harper took Sharpe’s hand and kissed his sore finger better. Then he said
‘In that case I’d better top this time, I’ve even bought a little bottle of our favourite oil.’

At three o’clock a bright, smiling Major Sharpe presented himself before the Duke. To Lawford’s surprise they exchanged pleasant smiles.
‘So Sharpe how you doing now? Finger all better I hope?’ Asked the Duke with a big smile.
‘Yes sir and your headache? I was very sorry hear your Grace was indisposed’ enquired Sharpe with a beaming smile.
‘Much better, thank you for asking, now to business’
‘Obviously some people are getting it’ thought Lawford but sadly he admitted to himself he just didn’t fancy Hogan.

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Post by Way2prickly » Sun Jun 19, 2011 10:45 am

Spring fever, eh? Great title!
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